Lessons We're Learning in the Battle

I just posted this on our Facebook prayer page, but wanted to post it here, too, so I have a reminder to go back to over and over again. God is teaching me lots these days in terms of waiting on Him and resting in Him alone.  :)

There is a scripture passage by Paul that has been really sticking out to me lately. I have many friends that have had a much smoother road to parenthood, whether through adoption, fostering-to-adoption, or even births of several biological children (or even on a less-than-smooth road, their panic moments may have been shorter, and closure has come more quickly) and I admit to being tempted to question God's love for me in the process. Silly, I know, but we've heard many success stories and while we rejoice with each one, we're at the point that those just aren't helpful when trying to compare with our own journey because it's just a further reminder that God hasn't taken away our "thorn" yet, and Satan can so easily invade my mind with thoughts of "see, God obviously loves them, but not you"...they are blatant lies, but when we see our circumstances above the Truth of God's word, we can be tempted to believe them. Comparison is such a dangerous thing. Anyone else struggle with this? I'm sure each of you have your own personal struggles as well that Satan can use (he is so good at helping us compare our unique story to others' stories, isn't he? Sneaky and wrong). But if we keep our focus on the attributes of God, and who He is -- not just "what can He do for me?" even though we certainly are blessed by God in immeasurable ways, too! Anyone see that gorgeous sunset last night? But that's not the only time we should praise Him. We need praise Him simply because He is worthy of our praise. Not always easy to put in practice, but so worth it. I guess that's why they call it a "sacrifice of praise" sometimes. Anyhow, so in this looooooong trial of Samuel's adoption journey, I admit I've questioned why God hasn't ended it for us yet. I see the hundreds of lives touched by his story, and I know that we should be honored to be used in that way (and we are), but the human side of me can be ugly and selfish and just "want our turn for a happy ending." I was thinking about this past year and every single terrifying obstacle we've had, and even though God hasn't delivered us completely with a finalized adoption (yet), He has been more than faithful in bringing us through every single scary moment, and even giving us many unexpected blessings along the way. Remember a year ago when Jessica first set up this prayer page? We were having a routine visit with Samuel's birthmom and family in Tulsa, and it turned into a possibility of losing Samuel that week because of some court filings that happened to go through at the same time (filings which turned out to be incorrect, of course, but still scary!). But God! He allowed Samuel to come home with us that week, and we've had an entire year of similar miracles! As we near the (hopeful) end of this journey, we are getting so antsy and our minds are constantly thinking "enough already!!" but God is not through with Samuel's miraculous story quite yet. Even still, there is absolutely no question that He's walking every step of the way with us, giving us victories along the way. If you are struggling with something and wondering why others seem to have an easier time with something that is your biggest thorn (everyone's "thorn" is different)...don't let Satan lie to you and tell you God just must not love you as much then. God is working in our biggest weaknesses to show His grace and power. Does it make it fun? Absolutely not. But today I pray I can begin to have Paul's attitude more and more as we walk through this (I've attended more pity parties this past 5 years than I care to admit). He says in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10: "Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." This is good stuff, folks! I hope you all had a blessed Christmas, and as always, thank you for being warriors for Samuel (and us!). You are the best!

Remembering "The Call"...

One year ago today, I was on my way to a facial appointment (hmmm...I should have done that again to commemorate, hehe) and got a phone call from Crisis Pregnancy Outreach that changed our lives. We'd been chosen as an adoptive family by a birthmom who happened to be due on our wedding anniversary! Later that afternoon, we got to meet the most incredible woman over Skype, and hit it off immediately. 

Many of you know we've had a couple failed adoptions before this, but this call was different. When we "met" H over skype, I felt like we'd already been friends and known each other. From that first call, we've formed an incredible bond that is hard to describe. God has made beauty from ashes in a tough, unfair situation, and H made an incredibly selfless choice for her son. We love sweet H more than words can say, and are just so thankful God brought our paths together through a precious, ornery, amazing, thriving little boy.  

I will never forget the day we got "the call"...we continue to pray that God is working in the hearts of Samuel's birthfather and family, and that we will get to finalize this adoption soon, this time of uncertainty can end, and we can (officially) be a family. Keep those prayers coming, friends. Love you all!

Been Awhile...ok, a Looooong while...

Boy, has our life been a roller coaster. Not that that's anything new...life's been an adventure since we've been married (maybe I should have been more careful when I told Steve after our first date "I can't wait 'til our next adventure"). Haha.  This roller coaster has been an emotional one, but not one that I'd take with anyone else but my love, Steve. He is truly my God-given gift, and my rock here on earth.

Back when we had our last failed adoption, I dragged my feet in getting our Home Study update done (call it my 31-year-old version of a toddler tantrum). I was frustrated with God, and afraid to hope again. But as much as I begged God to give us peace about closing the door to adoption (crazy how closing the door to a dream of parenthood sounded much easier than hoping and being disappointed again, huh? But it did)...God never gave us the peace to give up. So we contacted our social worker to come and do our "update" interview. That day, our life changed as well. We were called with a foster care placement of a 10-day-old baby boy. One that would change our world for the better, and one that would stay with us for almost 10 glorious months. Dillon changed our lives, and we've been so blessed to be welcomed as family by his birth family...we still are close to them and look forward to maintaining that wonderful relationship and watching precious Dillon grow up!  The day he went home to his birthdad was a bittersweet day for us, but literally as we were walking out the door of their house (praising God that it was not a "forever" goodbye!), we got a call for another foster placement. This time, a one-week-old baby girl, baby "E." Oh, how we loved her as well, and we were blessed to have her in our home for almost 2 months before she was moved to another foster home in Missouri where her siblings were staying. I won't lie and say I don't want to keep every single kiddo that comes into our home, but we praise God for the opportunity to love these kids while we have the chance and pray for our family to be expanded with "forever kiddos" one day soon.  Which leads to the next adventure.

The week after Dillon went home to his Daddy and Grandparents, we got a call from Crisis Pregnancy Outreach. We'd been chosen again by a birthmom, and she wanted to "interview" us via Skype that day.  August 29, 2012, will be a day that I will remember forever. I'd scheduled a facial that morning, and got the call when I was on my way out there. I called Steve to give him a brief rundown before my appointment, and then thought about this incredible news throughout my entire one-hour facial. It was surreal.  I got home and the rest of the day was a blur. We had another phone conference (for something else) immediately before our Skype call with this birthmother, and the events of that day just FLEW by.  When we began our Skype call with "H," it was as if I was talking to a dear friend...I felt like we hit it off that quickly (at least that's how it was on our side...I can't speak for "H," haha!).  She is one of the most fabulous women I have known, and what I'd always hoped for in a birthmother for an open adoption. We pursued open adoption for a reason, to build a relationship with the birth families of our precious babies, and the fact that "H" feels like my sister could not be any more special and perfect.

A couple weeks later, September 11, I went down to Tulsa (with 3 1/2 week old baby "E" in tow) to meet "H" in person for the first time. Again, it was like I was meeting a dear friend. I got to go to a Dr. Appt. with her and then we had a coffee date...I seriously did not want our time to end. She gave me ultrasound pictures to take home with me, pictures of the most handsome baby boy I'd ever seen in utero. Can't even describe what a blessing she's been to us since the first time we talked.  We headed to Tulsa on October 7th, in preparation for the arrival of this precious baby boy.  Our day on Monday, October 8th, was one I'll never forget. We spent the entire day at the hospital with "H's" family, who are now our family. Her sister and her two adorable kiddos, her Mom and Stepdad, her Dad, and her best friend. They welcomed us with open arms and our relationship with them has been a dream come true ever since that day. At 5:25pm, Samuel Steven entered the world and was welcomed into a wonderful, huge, blended, loving family. He was 6 lbs, 19.5 inches long, and pure perfection. Even more awesome, he was born on our 7th wedding anniversary! I love how God puts His stamp on things.

Unfortunately, as has been the case with our entire journey to parenthood, the road became bumpy. Samuel's birthfather has contested the adoption and we are currently in a legal battle to keep this precious baby.  I cannot post details about the case (including why we are so adamant about keeping Samuel safe and in our home and out of a violent situation which brought about the adoption plan to begin with), but we are currently praying for God to work in a mighty way and that we'll have the privilege of raising this precious boy! Every day with him so far has been a blessing, and we fall more in love with him each day!

Who needs lies when we can have Truth?

Satan is the father of lies.  It’s been that way since the beginning.  In Genesis 3:1, it says “Now the serpent [Satan] was more subtle and crafty than any living creature of the field which the Lord God had made.”  His main goal is to steal and destroy (John 10:10 - The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full).  One of the ways Satan can attack us and steal our joy, purpose, and worse – our ability to focus on God’s purposes for our lives – is to feed us lies.  He’s been feeding me some doozies lately, especially with regards to our most recent failed adoption.

The good news?  God’s word offers truth to counter each of these lies.  I need to cling to the truth of His word more than anything right now.  Don’t get me wrong, God has not promised us a child (like he did Abraham and Sarah in Genesis 17), but I don’t feel like He’s calling us to close the door yet.  I certainly don’t want to “stiff-arm” my way to motherhood if God has a completely different purpose (which, btw, is always best) for my life. I’ve been seeking Him to really examine my heart and show me very clearly if He’s asking us to give up this dream.  The tough thing with our miscarriage and 2 failed adoptions is that they don’t necessarily mean He’s saying “no.” It could be an opportunity for us to trust Him beyond our circumstances.  But, on the other hand, if He is telling us “no,” I want to listen.  So far, I don’t feel a peace about closing that door…so I’m asking Him to make it very clear to us if He wants us to do so.  Here are some of the lies Satan has been throwing at me, and – more important – the truth God gives to counter them.  This is probably more for me than for anyone reading, but I want to have a tangible reminder of God’s words to cling to (and throw in the enemy’s face).

Lie:


“What a waste.” 

Currently, this lie is mostly targeted on the fact that we now have to update our adoption home study again (it expires November 2^nd).  Frustrating for two reasons…it reminds us that another 12 months have passed while we still wait with empty arms, and in our particular case 7 of those 12 months were spent waiting on an adoption that didn’t end up happening.  We were “off the market” for 7 months since we were chosen by a birthmom who ended up changing her mind.  I will be honest and say that this fear was actually the very first thing that came to my mind when we got that call back in March saying we’d been chosen by a birthmom (yay!) and she wasn’t due until October (yikes!).  Human side of me says “wasted time”…truth is that God is not surprised by any of this. This home study update (as well as having to re-do our lifebook, background checks, etc) costs a pretty hefty chunk of change.  We’re not rolling in dough right now (and no, I don’t blame Wall Street…I guess I’m not on board with all that "occupy" stuff...but that’s a whole ‘nother issue). Nevertheless, my selfish humanness thinks about how many “better things” we should be spending that money on.

Truth:

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus.”
-Philippians 4:19


Pssst: God promises us riches, but not of the sort we're used to pursuing here on earth. The riches God blesses us with are spiritual riches, namely the grace of Jesus Christ and the spiritual benefits of following him (wise words, taken from here).

“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”
-Matthew 6:33

Pssst: This does not mean He will provide me with an iPhone, or a new laptop, or a great vacation…He really means “needs” here  J

Lie:


“Can you really put your heart into the hands of some girl and not expect her to break it?” 

I have struggled with the feelings that “we’re too far away from Tulsa to really make a difference with CPO’s ministry” and “it will get harder and harder to really invest (emotionally) in these birthmoms as much as I want to as trust gets broken again and again.”  After all, I could never do what they are doing, so how can I not expect it to fall through each time?  Pinning hopes on any human is a sure-way to be disappointed.  But I know these feelings are Satan’s sneaky attempts to thwart an awesome God-orchestrated story that will (hopefully) reach even beyond our wildest dreams.

Truth:

We can trust God with our hearts. 

“Trust in the Lord with all of your heart [see, he can be trusted with our hearts!], and do not lean on your own understanding [this is a very good thing, because I don’t so much understand right now]. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths.”
- Proverbs 3:5-6

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.”
-1 Peter 5:7

So, this post is full of brutal honesty (and not necessarily things I’m proud of…just being real here).  I wish I could say I had as much grace as people think they see in me lately, but the truth is, I am full of many questions and not a whole lot of answers.  However, I refuse to let the enemy feed me lies when I know I have a Heavenly Father who loves me more than I can even imagine, whether I’m “feeling” it or not.  Thank you, Lord, for giving us the truth of your Word that never fails to counteract the enemy’s lies.  I choose truth.  I choose You.

Blessings...

"Blessings"

By Laura Story

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights 

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom

Your voice to hear

And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

All the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights 

Are what it takes to know You’re near

And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know that pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home

It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are Your mercies in disguise

Sometimes He Calms the Storm...

...and other times He calms His child (lyrics from Scott Krippayne).  We received a phone call this morning from CPO with the news that "J" had sent them a text message letting them know that she has changed her mind.  Failed adoption numero dos for the Irwins (so far, we're 0 for 3 in this parenting thing...1 miscarried pregnancy and 2 failed adoptions).  We are - of course - sad, and confused, and frustrated, and confused (oh, did I already say that?), but we also are 100% in support of "J's" decision.  This little guy was not our baby, and although we really hoped that we would be blessed with the opportunity to parent him, we fully stand behind "J" in this decision.  We also stand by our resolve to praise God when we win, and praise God when we lose (we got that quote from the movie Facing the Giants...if you haven't seen it yet, you totally should).  As hard as it was to get the phone call this morning, we actually see it as an answer to prayer.  We have been in the midst of a 2-week period of no communication from "J" and were becoming a bit anxious that this little guy's due date on the 13th would come and go, and we'd be left wondering.  It was hard to get the phone call from CPO this morning, but it would have been so much harder had "J" simply disappeared entirely.  Last night, as I was browsing through Pinterest (my latest fun pasttime), I came across a picture of Romans 12:12 written on a piece of paper.  When Steve woke up to go to work, I showed it to him, commenting on how perfect it was as we were waiting in the midst of a lot of unknowns.  It says:

"Rejoice and exult in hope; be steadfast and patient in suffering and tribulation; be constant in prayer"

I cling to that even now.  We are in no way giving up on this journey of becoming parents through adoption, and we are excitedly jumping right back into foster parenting with both feet as well (we'd put ourselves on hold for a bit, as the trip to Oklahoma for our pending adoption approached).  We absolutely love what CPO is doing through their ministry to birthmoms and are so glad to be involved with them, and will continue to be.  We still cling to the truth of the Bible that our God is awesome, sovereign, loving, and good.  All the time.  Even when we don't understand, even when we aren't necessarily "feeling it," we know that He is good.  Now that doesn't mean that we're happy with how things turned out, or that we aren't disappointed that our 3 1/2 year journey has been delayed yet again, nor does it take away the sting of the many upcoming babies happening among our family/friends as we continue to wait on something God has not yet revealed to us.  BUT...we can take a cue from Paul in Philippians 4:11-13 when he says, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength"  (and this dude was in prison as an innocent man, wrongly accused, when he wrote this!  If he can do it in those circumstances, we certainly can rejoice amidst ours)!

I spent most of the morning revising our Lifebook ("J" has the only hard copy, and we need to send a new one so CPO can start showing our profile to prospective birthmoms again).  Luckily, CPO has us create our Lifebooks in Shutterfly, so they are easy to reproduce.  Our current Lifebook was done last year after we moved to Kansas, so it was full of pictures with Norman.  Unfortunately, I had to replace all those pictures, since Norman is no longer with us (talk about adding salt to the wound, huh?).  It is all ready to go now, and we'll get it ordered/sent tonight or tomorrow.  Then, we wait...again.

We've been so blessed by the prayers, encouragement, support, virtual hugs, and excitement from our family and friends as we've been on this latest adoption journey these past 7 months since being chosen by "J."  We certainly appreciate all of it, and we are really doing ok.  We have a 6th anniversary to celebrate tomorrow, and although we'd hoped to be celebrating under different circumstances, we still have so much that we're thankful for.  God has brought us through so much these past 6 years, and I know there will be many more trials and tough times.  That's life, ya know?  The difference is that we have an incredible hope, and boy, has that hope been made more real to me in the past few years than ever.  We've been able to live in the knowledge that "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:7).  That is the only way I can describe the peace we feel, because it sure isn't coming from us...we'd be wrecks if we didn't have it.

Still praising our God...

Finally...the Moment We've Been Waiting For...

This has been announced on Facebook, and elsewhere, but I need to make it "Blog Official." Mostly because I want to use this as a memory book of sorts, so I need to be sure it's recorded here!! After lots and lots (and lots) of waiting in our journey to become parents...we have been chosen by a birthmom!! It seems to get more and more real as the due date gets closer, so I figured I'd better get this recorded on the blog pronto!

We actually got the call back on March 27th. We found out there was a birthmother that picked us, and was due this fall. Whew, what a wait! We are so, so thankful for "J" and the gift she is giving us...a baby boy! He's due October 13th. Just 5 1/2 weeks away! Since we found out so early, and haven't had a lot of communication (bummer...we are still praying that we can build a relationship with our amazing birthmom and her family), it just hasn't seemed very real. Now, things are getting closer, and we are having a hard time keeping our excitement at bay. We are cautiously optimistic, and continue to pray for "J," her family, and, of course our sweet baby boy!

Another answer to prayer is that we get to meet "J" next week! We pray that she will see the light of Christ in us, and that there will be peace for everyone involved based on this meeting. It's such a blessing to be able to meet our birthmom before this little guy is born, and we pray that God can use us in "J's" life so that she knows just how loved she is by our family. Anyone that knows me knows that I just want to smother her with love, encouragement, and affirmation, but the road of open adoption is a tricky one. We have to really be sensitive to "J's" needs/wants/desires and make sure that above all else, she is comfortable with the relationship that we have, no matter how open it is.

I'll leave you all with some answers to the most common questions/comments we've been getting. Thank you for being a part of this journey! This is just the beginning!

Do you have a name picked out?
We have been slow on this one. I think we've just been really guarded about the whole thing, and it is a big job to name a child! We have given him a couple nicknames up to this point, as I have enjoyed playing up his meteorologist daddy. We've been calling him "Hale Storm Irwin" and "Storm Chasen Irwin"...haha! These are not the real names we're considering at this point...hehe. We are close to settling on a name, but we're going to see if "J" wants to have any input. We'd definitely be open to that! We've also decided to keep the name a surprise, so once we do actually decide...you will just have to wait in suspense! :) Don't worry...not much longer!

You'll probably get pregnant now that you're adopting.
Oh man, if I had a quarter for every time someone said that to me. :) Everyone seems to "know someone who knows someone" that has adopted and then subsequently conceived a biological child. This could definitely happen (especially since we've had no proven infertility), but it is actually statistically not common. This is one of those myths that can give the wrong impression, so I wanted to "debunk" it here. Even if it were the case, we'd hate for our adopted child to ever think that he or she was simply the catalyst we used in order to have biological children. We've always said that our desire, first and foremost, is to be parents, regardless of how God chooses to build our family. Although most people that make the comment that "you'll probably have your 'own' child now" are well-meaning, it can give the implication that our adopted children were not our first choice. We can't wait to see how God builds our family, and hope that our friends and family understand what a blessing adoption is in its own right. Adoption is definitely not "Plan B" for us :)

What if "J" changes her mind?
Well, that is definitely a possibility. Adoption is never a sure thing. That is one reason why we are so invested in caring for the birthmom first. We want to be sure she knows we're 100% behind her in any decision she makes. The bottom line is, this is her baby first. We would be absolutely honored if she entrusts us with this sweet boy, but we also understand that we are not entitled to him by any means. This is one roller coaster that we are happy to be on for the long haul. We continuously pray that God keeps our focus outward, and not on ourselves. Some days this is easier than others, but He is faithful, and we can trust our hearts to His care. No matter what happens in this situation, He's got our backs. How awesome is that?

That's all I can think of for now, but if anyone has questions, please don't hesitate to ask! We love educating people about open adoption (as we've had a lot to learn, and will continue to learn along the way). It's such an incredible thing to be a part of, and we wouldn't change our journey to parenthood, regardless of the twists and turns we've had over the past 3 1/2 years.

More updates to come! We're so excited to meet "J" next week, and we definitely appreciate your prayers as we continue this journey to our first child!

At long last...the call that {almost} changed our lives forever...

Well, now that it's been almost 4 months since this occurred, I'd better document it for my patient reader(s?) :) You may remember from this post, that Steve and I had a pretty exciting several days back in January. We'd just had a great day at the park Cross Country Skiing and enjoying God's amazing creation and were at home relaxing and watching some Jeopardy (I know...another wild afternoon at the Irwin's place!). My cell phone rang and it was the director of CPO (our agency)...she was needing a copy of our original home study, because she couldn't find it. She said that they were getting pretty busy, and she wanted to be sure she had immediate access to our file, rather than continuing to look for her other copy. "No problem," I said, feeling so great to be in touch with them again. As you probably remember, our agency's primary purpose is as a ministry to birthmoms in crisis pregnancies. Many of these birthmoms choose adoption plans for their babies, so they need to have families for these babies - "providing families for babies, not babies for families." Anyway, since they are taking such great care of these birthmoms (CPO supports these girls through either choice: parenting or an adoption plan, which is one of the things I just love about them), coupled with the fact that we are out of the Tulsa area, we don't get to be as involved with them as we'd like to be. This also means that we can feel "out of the loop" in many ways. We completely stand behind CPO and their ministry, so we understand that it's not about us...it's about these girls. But still, it was so nice to hear Cheryl's voice, reconnect, and get to talk to her for a bit.

After I hung up the phone, I actually lamented to Steve a little bit (warning: selfishness creeping in here). I mentioned that I'd finally been able to stop constantly thinking about our adoption and becoming a mom, etc. and had begun enjoying life and "moving on," I guess you could say. My way of protecting my heart after almost 3 years of disappointment, I suppose. Either way, I don't ever want to "move on" or stop thinking about our adoption, because even if we don't know our birthmom yet, we still need to be praying for her every day! I think there is a big difference between contentment in our "now" and just flat out not trusting that God's best is really the best, regardless of how it compares with my perceived "best." I was definitely leaning more toward the not trusting God, and just conceding that He didn't care about me or my desires so I should just give up.

Anyhow...so we started making arrangements to fax Cheryl an extra copy of our home study and went on with our evening. Then things got interesting :) She called again about 20 minutes later and told us the actual reason behind needing our home study so quickly. There was a birthmom who was basically due that day, and she wanted to make an adoption plan. Her parents didn't even know about the pregnancy and she wanted to keep it that way. Cheryl said she (birthmom) was in touch with the CPO Doula (how cool is it that they provide a doula for these girls?!) and that the doula (Lisa) would be in touch with us soon to give us an update. Steve and I looked at each other in shock, and started making phone calls - just to our parents at that point. It was so fun to tell them that they might be grandparents so soon!! We were in a state of shock, and sort of panicked about what we still didn't have and needed. We made a trip to Target while in a bit of a cloud, I filled in our HR manager and my Team Lead about the possibility of us needing to head to Tulsa soon, and we picked up a few onesies and bottles...we had no idea what we needed to bring. After a few conversations with Lisa throughout the next day, we decided it was time for us to drive to Tulsa. We were so blessed to be welcomed into the Wyatt's home again (they were the ones that hosted us during the Waiting Families Workshop in November).

As we got to Tulsa, things were still so crazy and up in the air. The only contact that any of us had with this birthmom (BM) was over Facebook and/or email...I think Lisa had talked with her on the phone. It was a heartbreaking story (normally, I wouldn't be disclosing any of this, but once you get to the end of this post, you'll realize why it's ok). During that next couple days, things started getting a bit strange, and pieces of this story were falling apart. I won't go into details, but even as I think about the whole situation now - 4 months later - I still am so impressed with what a very believable, intricate story it was, and how things seemed to unfold and progress so naturally. As you can probably guess by now, it was not a case of the birthmother changing her mind (which is definitely a possibility in any open adoption, and we would completely support a birthmom in her decision to parent), it was a complete scam. But, here's the amazing thing. God protected our hearts in such a huge way! We went down to Tulsa with the attitude of supporting this particular BM, and not even focusing on the possibility of becoming parents. We had a strong prayer support system during those several days, and we could just feel God's peace. I think the most upset I got at the end was strictly embarrassment for "falling for" a scam...and it was short-lived. You see, there are enough "unbelievable" stories out there that do end up being completely real, that it is just too much of a risk not to support these girls when they need it. And though this particular case was a scam in terms of a fake birthmother, the fact that someone was reaching out for help remains unchanged. I pray that she - whomever she is - still saw the light of Christ in us. I just can't regret showing love to someone that clearly was reaching out for it. Another blessing was that it gave me an opportunity to talk with a birthmom for the first time (real or not), which can be an intimidating idea. And we could put our actions where our mouths have been this entire time. We of course want to be parents, but the whole reason we signed on with this particular agency is that we want to partner with them in their ministry to these birthmoms, whether we are blessed with a baby or not. God gave us a chance to actually demonstrate that.

So there you have it. The call that {almost} changed our lives. So much changed as a result of that one phone call. And although it didn't change our lives the way in which we always envisioned "the call," it refocused our perspective on God's plan for us to become parents. We now remember how important it is to pray consistently for our birthmom(s) and our future child(ren), even though the who/when/etc. details are not yet completely tangible. We were able to continue moving forward with the process of becoming licensed foster parents. We have taken the opportunity to prepare for a child to come into our home, rather than "let's just not think about it until it seems like more of a sure thing." Oh, and we also got to spend a few days with a pretty incredible family...

God is Good - ALL the time!

¹³ You created every part of me;
you put me together in my mother's womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because you are to be feared;
all you do is strange and wonderful.
I know it with all my heart.
¹⁵ When my bones were being formed,
carefully put together in my mother's womb,
when I was growing there in secret,
you knew that I was there
¹⁶ you saw me before I was born.
The days allotted to me
had all been recorded in your book,
before any of them ever began.

Psalm 139:13 - 16

Still Waiting...

I know I've kept you all in suspense of the call that (almost) changed our lives forever...and I apologize that the suspense will continue for a bit longer. It worked, though, didn't it? I'll post about that soon, I promise. But today, March 15, 2011, is the day marking seven months of waiting for the call. The one that really will change our lives forever. Seven months down, unknown number of months (weeks...days...years?) to go. Uff da, the open-ended nature of adoption is tough (yup, I said uff da...proud Scandinavian here). I'm not gonna lie. Even as we rejoice with our friends that become pregnant and have babies, or even our other "waiting" friends who are chosen by birth parents and then bring their sweet babies home (and please don't misunderstand me, we ABSOLUTELY do rejoice with them...God is SO good!), it sure is hard to wait. And keep waiting. And wait some more. Especially since our wait actually started long ago, when we lost the dream of parenthood the first time back in May 2008 when we miscarried.

As we see it happen for "everyone else" (I know, I know...not everyone else), it sometimes feels like we are on the playground at recess waiting to be picked for a team, and watching person after person be selected as we stand in the line waiting, hoping to be good enough to be chosen. That's the raw honesty of it. Open-ended waiting sucks. We have no due date. No excitement of decorating a baby's room (since we have no idea when our baby will be here and/or even if we will still be living in this apartment). No baby showers. No doctor's appointments. Not even shopping for baby clothes (since we don't know what season to buy for). Just lots of waiting.

Man, that part of God's refining is not fun, is it? Of course, the fact that I'm handling this wait so incredibly well (hehe...note sarcasm) could very well be a reason we are still waiting...God is doing some big, hard, wonderful, painful, amazing, wouldn't-change-it-for-anything refining in my heart as we go through the process of preparing for this awesome challenge of parenthood. It goes from "well, the wait could be anywhere from a few days to a few years" (but what I really mean is that it will probably be closer to the "few days") to "oh crap, we really could be waiting a few years or longer" to "hmmmm...maybe I'm just not meant to be a mom. I really thought God gave me these gifts and desires, but maybe not...poor, poor me" to "no more pity party here, but maybe I really do just need to move on. Maybe God has something else out there for us and we are limiting Him because we just won't let this parenthood thing go." I have to constantly rest in God's truth and what I believe are promises He's given, otherwise I second guess everything. And believe me, I have. Feelings of doubt can rob us of so much, especially as we try to be diligent in waiting on Him for something we are confident He's promised us. Here's a quote from a great book I read that I felt like I could have written myself: "When I stood around talking with other women, I felt somewhat like an imposter. I was incomplete, not quite a part of them, having failed what I perceived as the true test of womanhood: the rite of motherhood." (taken from The Infertility Companion by Sandra L. Glahn, Th.M. and William R. Cutrer, MD).

Infertility (or "delayed parenthood," as I like to call it in our case...since all of our infertility tests came back normal) does crazy things to a woman who has a strong desire for children. It can turn motherhood into an idol. It can cause her to be prone to schizophrenic tendencies, where it seems that everyone who posts about their kids or pregnancies is directing it straight at her saying "see what I have that you can't have?" It can cause her to isolate herself from people that she loves, because it hurts to be around them and she just doesn't feel like she fits in because she's not "one of them." And then as she cringes when friends tell her "I'm pregnant!" she feels awful because she wishes she could have that head-over-heels excitement she used to have (like a real friend should have, right?) instead of feeling like she just got punched in the stomach again. Again, raw honesty here.

So...how can we find hope and encouragement, even during an agonizing wait for something we trust that God has promised us? And it could be anything, not just motherhood. This is simply my current challenge...there have been many others and I'm sure there will be many more as life is filled with refining fires. These past couple months, I've been blessed with an amazing group of ladies at a Tuesday morning Bible study as we learn about Abraham. We're going through Anne Graham Lotz's book The Magnificent Obsession and it's all about Abraham's journey as he longed to know God more intimately. He waited on God's promises to him (one of which was to be a father and have descendants too numerous to count) even as those promises seemed extremely far-fetched (he and his wife Sarah were old!) and didn't necessarily make sense based on what the circumstances were at the time. Abraham was carried through by his faith in the truth of who God was (is). He dropped everything to go where God told Him to go...even if it meant leaving his home, his possessions, and everything he'd ever known! And even as He exercised great faith, there were times that he acted on feelings instead of truth (and took matters into his own hands), which turned out to be clearly away from God's path. We so often say "oh don't worry, God, I got this...I'm not sure You can handle this the way it should be handled." But what we (at least I) tend to really be saying is "I'm not sure I can trust you since my circumstances just don't seem to line up with what I'm wanting to happen." Or, if we are really honest with ourselves, we might be saying "I'm not sure I'm going to like what You have for me, so I am going to force things to go my way instead." Oh, the blessings we could be robbing ourselves of when we look right past God's truth, God's character, and God's promises and settle for good enough, instead of God's best.

As we are on this journey and sometimes can be overtaken by doubt, self-pity, or just plain frustration that things aren't happening the way (or the speed) that we'd like (and this can be applied to anything...I just use our journey to parenthood as an example), we have to remember the truth of God's character, His wisdom, His divine authority, and His incredible love for us. And if we truly want to be walking with God (which I absolutely do), we have to walk in the same direction and at the same pace (great snippet from Anne Graham Lotz). Lord, please help me to walk contently with You in your direction and at your pace.

But my life isn't interesting enough to blog...

Ha. I say that all the time. But then all of a sudden there are a bajillion updates. We definitely have had some great opportunities to trust God with things in our life that are a pretty big deal. You know, the usual...babies, jobs, moving. God is proving again and again that He is faithful (and also being patient enough with me to offer glimpses of encouragement even when I like to throw my tantrums about wanting things NOW). More in-depth updates to come, but here are a few tidbits, so you know what is on our prayer list and what we would be so blessed to add to yours (and we also want to know how we can pray for you!). Things got pretty crazy a couple months ago when this little guy started to have seizures.

I know he's "just" a dog, but for now, he is our baby, and seizures are never fun to witness. We made many trips to the vet (they love him there...and we love them) and our Norman is now on meds every 12 hours (sorta kills the social life, having to be home at 9 am and 9 pm every day...hehe). He is improving, though, and we are so thankful. More than 4 weeks seizure-free now, praise God!

We have also been enjoying the start of football season (Steve has even entered his first Fantasy Football league!), but can hardly believe Fall is here already. I do love Fall (except that it leads to Winter...boo). Tomorrow I get to jump headfirst into Fall as I travel to upstate New York for work. Business travel is one way to make a week fly! I think we might even get to see Niagara Falls...if so, I will definitely take pictures! The other fun thing about this trip is that I get to fly on the corporate jet. Rumor has it that they even stock the seats with candy! Looking forward to seeing if that is indeed true...

No new news on the adoption front. Thanks so much to everyone that has supported us with encouraging words, surprise notes, prayers, and even buying coffee! We are officially "waiting"...and I'm not gonna lie...this whole "waiting" thing is turning out to be a bit overrated (hehe). Many prayers for patience are coming out of this heart. I have still struggled a bit with hearing that everyone (seriously...ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a tiny bit, but not by much) is pregnant. And it's not even that I want to be pregnant (it would actually put our adoption on hold), but man, I just long for that baby NOW and it's so hard to wait and trust God's timing in all this, especially since adoption is such an unknown timeline. I have to be honest in saying that the idea that we could be waiting years definitely frightens me and discourages me a little. Comparison is never a good thing. My aunt put it very well when she said "I refuse to look to the right or to the left, or to compare myself with those who are more or less successful than I am. Those comparisons bear rotten fruit: either pride or despair." So true, and I'm so guilty of it. Constantly looking at one of the 5 (yes FIVE) people on my floor at work that are "drinking the water" and wonder why am I the only one that can't do this? Like I'm a total failure because I haven't been able to get pregnant in 2 1/2 years. Yet I am so passionate about the path God has opened for us in adoption...I just want it to move much faster. I strive to be at peace with my "now" so that I don't settle even for good, when God wants to offer me His best. When looked at that way, who could even argue that this wait - long or short - isn't worth waiting for? I want to take every thought captive (especially those that Satan throws in there that say "you know this isn't going to happen for you" or "you aren't a mother; therefore, you just don't fit"...those have been hammered at me a lot lately) and replace it with God's truth, like Jeremiah 29:11's "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I cannot wait for that day, but I also must rejoice in the journey. Whew...better save more of that for another post. This "quick update" could get long.

The other big excitement is Steve's job search. After graduation in May, things were pretty slow on the career front. But within the last month or two, things have started rolling. We were blessed with several phone interviews and Steve had two in-person interviews last week! One in Huntsville, AL, and one in Shawnee, KS. Both went extremely well (the one in Huntsville is already drafting an offer!), and we are hoping to have a big announcement within the next week...stay tuned!

So yeah, big changes on the horizon I think. And many things on the prayer list. Praying for our adoption process to continue to move forward, but most importantly for peace during the agonizing wait. Praying for Steve's job situation and discernment in that process. Praying for our potential move, and the logistics that go along with that (including my job situation following said potential move). God has proven his faithfulness over and over, and we are so excited to see where He leads us next!

BIG NEWS!!

We are so excited to (finally) officially announce…

WE ARE ADOPTING!!!

God has been stirring our hearts for quite some time, and we have taken the exciting step toward becoming parents through the blessing of adoption! I can’t even explain how ecstatic we are about this journey. For many months (years, actually), we have longed for a child, and we are thrilled to be moving forward! We found an incredible agency, Crisis Pregnancy Outreach in Tulsa, OK, and strongly believe in their mission. One thing that really stands out to us is their mission of not providing babies for families, but instead, they provide families for babies. As a crisis pregnancy center, their main focus is to minister to birthparents that are making an incredible decision to choose life. They support birthmoms that choose adoption, but also those that choose to parent their babies themselves. Steve and I have become huge advocates of the open adoption process as we’ve prayed about our own journey, and are excited to (hopefully) be able to minister to a young lady that will ultimately become a part of our family, in whatever capacity that may end up being (this could be pictures and letters, or it could be frequent contact through visits. We’re excited about the potential!).

The process of adoption is bittersweet, and we pray every day for the birthparents of our future child. The decision she will be (or, possibly is currently) making will be one of the most difficult, grief-filled decisions she will ever have to make. And it will lead to the happiest moment of our lives, as the baby we have prayed for and longed for is placed into our arms. One incredible moment, two extremely different perspectives - one huge contradiction. For this reason, we would love for you to join us in praying for this process and everyone involved. We pray that God places a shield of protection over the birthparents and this precious baby; that He gives a peace that passes all understanding; and that above all, God is glorified through our lives and this entire process. It is such an amazing thing to be a part of.

So…you may be asking…what’s next? Well, we are definitely on our way with what is affectionately called “the paper chase.” It’s incredible what is required in order to complete a home study, but for my type-A, list-making personality…I thrive on the chase! And there is certainly nothing I’ve been more excited about, which makes the fingerprinting, background checking, and document chasing worth every second. We have our home study interview with the social worker scheduled for Tuesday, July 13th. We’ve already sent our “life book” to the agency, and our adoption mentor said they’d start showing it to potential birthmoms as soon as they receive it. Since we will be hand-picked by the birthparents, there is no telling how long the process will ultimately take…it could be a few months, or it could be a few years. We are completely at peace knowing that God’s timing is absolutely perfect and that His hand has been guiding us this entire time. Hopefully that peace will continue as we complete the home study and start the “hurry up and wait” part of the process!

One of the cool tools we have found in order to raise funds for our adoption and the related expenses is this website: http://www.justlovecoffee.com/Irwin2010Adoption.

As a coffee lover, this is right up my alley! Just Love Coffee is company that sells 100% Fair Trade specialty coffees produced from the places that do coffee best. According to their website, Just Love Coffee selects “only Fair Trade coffees from small farmers so that we are helping those farmers, who labor to bring us such wonderful coffees, earn a living wage. We roast our coffees to order so that you are receiving the freshest coffee possible every time.” Yum! Sounds delicious, doesn’t it? If you order using our family’s link provided above, a portion of the sales will benefit our adoption and help defray some of the costs related to the process. Our site is being set up as we speak, so it should be up and running soon! Check back often, and place your order for some tasty coffee once our site is active! We’d love your support in this endeavor, but mostly we covet your prayers. Prayers for us as God prepares us for parenthood, prayers for the birthparents as they go through this decision and their pregnancy, and prayers for Crisis Pregnancy Outreach as they continue their awesome ministry to these girls.

Thanks so much for your support, your excitement, and walking through these past couple years in our journey toward parenthood which has certainly not been the one we had envisioned (but we trust God that it is so much better than our plans were)!

Wait

Wait

By Russell Kelfer


Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.

"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!

Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."

Patience...

This is one of those "just things that are on my heart" blog entries. Cuz that is part of what a blog is for, right?

It's no secret that Steve and I are SO SO SO excited to be parents. Our original plan (more for practical purposes) was to wait until Steve graduates and then start our family. Then...surprise! We got pregnant in April 2008. Man, we were so happy and excited about that. I have wanted to be a mom since I was, well, probably 3 :) Then...miscarriage. Unexpected. Awful. Devastating. Wouldn't wish it on anyone. But still, we had hope. We got pregnant "on accident" the first time, so we'll just wait the prescribed time and start trying again, right? No problem. Well, turns out God is working on us in the meantime and here we are...November 2009, and still no baby, no pregnancy, nothing. I'm not going to lie when I say it is starting to ache as I find out every week that another person (or 2 or 3) is pregnant. Such happy news. Getting so hard to hear. Frustrated with myself for feeling less than ecstatic with each additional one. Wishing I could get that "head over heels excited" feeling back.

On the other hand. We have always planned to adopt. Our hearts are so on fire for it...more now than ever (and I don't consider it a "plan b," but previously, it's been more of a "wait until we have biological kids and then save up and adopt later" kind of thing). We are starting to wonder if God is leading us in that direction now. That maybe we aren't getting pregnant because there is a child that God wants to bless us with via adoption and we wouldn't pursue that avenue yet if we had biological kids first. We are starting to analyze everything. We know that there are many practical reasons to wait to start the process (though we know that it is a lengthy process), such as the fact that Steve graduates in May and we don't know where we will be ending up. Or the fact that we don't have the finances set aside yet. Or that we want this SO badly that we don't want it to be our own desires, but the Lord's leading, and when it is such a strong desire, how can you tell? BUT...we also know that we don't serve a God that works only in the practical realm. He is the God of the Universe! In fact, He does His most awesome work when things seem quite impractical or impossible. So we don't want to underestimate what He can and will do if it is truly His leading.

I want to be obedient, and I want to further God's kingdom. I want to be fruitful and multiply, regardless of the avenue. Most of all, I want to be a mommy. I am having a hard time being patient...

Mother's Day Reflections...

I'm not gonna lie...last Mother's Day was sure more fun than this year's. It was on Mother's Day that I announced to my extended family that we were expecting this little one:

I was supposed to be celebrating my first "real" Mother's Day this year. It kinda hurts not to be. Our pregnancy was a suprise, and we actually hadn't planned on starting our family until after Steve finished school, so I never was in that club of the ones longing to be moms on Mother's Day...it was more of a "can't wait until it's my turn" day. But once we were expecting, we were so excited, and we now long for a child that still has not come. It seems like more of a loss than it has before. Steve and I cannot wait to add to our family, and we know that God is going to bless our socks off with children, but man is it hard to see the timing of it all...especially on days like today.

However, even with my own dreams that have not yet been realized, I rejoice with my friends who are celebrating their first Mother's Day today. Jessica is the proud mommy of sweet little Ian, Starling is enjoying her precious Ethan, and Rebecca is finally getting to spend Mother's Day with Eli in her arms! God is so good!

And, of course, I have to thank the Lord for my own Mom.

I have been blessed with a Mom that took such interest in her three kids. She was always helping out at school functions, even homeschooled me for two years. My Mom was also "mom" to many of my friends who weren't as lucky as I was to have parents so involved. Thank you, Momma, for investing so much of yourself into us.

Not only did God bless me with a great Mother, I am also one of the lucky ones that has an amazing Mother-in-Law. I can't wait to make both of them proud Grandmas as well. Steve and I have such an awesome heritage that we will be honored to carry on. Thanks to both of my Moms (and Grandmas...and Aunts - hey, it takes a whole family). I love you!

2008 Recap

It's amazing how fast a year can seem as you recap all of the fun (and even not-so-fun) times in one place, isn't it? Here is a copy of our Christmas letter that actually turned into a New Year's letter :o) I tried to scan the letter with the cool backdrop that was with it, but it just didn't work. Here's the text...

Greetings and Happy New Year!

2008 was filled with many blessings for the Irwins, as well as a few hardships. However, as we consider the past year, it is evident that God has blessed us immensely. A quick recap of our 2008:

We were able to wrap up our January with a whirlwind trip to Hawaii as we celebrated Steve’s Dad’s retirement as a pilot with American Airlines. We were blessed to be on Captain Irwin’s final flights to and from Hawaii. Though it was a very short trip (less than 24 hours in Hawaii, actually), we were so lucky to be able to share in that special time with family.

In March, we were blessed to be able to send Steve for a “Guys Week” with his Dad, where they spent time skiing in Mammoth Lakes (which I would venture to say may be the favorite place of each of them). From what I heard, it was a great time, and I even heard rumors of some beard-growing from my normally clean-shaven husband. Now if that isn’t a Guy’s Week, what is?

We received a surprise blessing in April, as we discovered we were expecting our first child! We were so excited and anticipated a December 21st arrival. Unfortunately, with that blessing came one of our hardships of the year…over Memorial Day weekend in May, Liesl miscarried our baby 10 weeks and 1 day into the pregnancy. How amazing, though, as we truly were lifted up by the prayers and support of our family and friends from all over the country. Thank you, Lord, for our friends and family! May was also the official half-way point of Steve’s schooling, as he completed his 2nd year at the University of Oklahoma’s School of Meteorology. He has continued his employment with the National Severe Storms Lab, even taking on a leadership role with the summer S.H.A.V.E. (Severe Hazards Analysis and Verification Experiment) project and gaining some valuable experience!

June was a fun-filled month for Liesl, as she had the opportunity to participate in a professional musical production of The Sound of Music with Lyric Theatre of Oklahoma City. She was in the Nun Chorus, and made some valuable friendships through the experience.

In July, we were blessed with the opportunity to take a little vacation up to Branson, MO. Norman got to stay home with Grandpa and Grandma Irwin. It was the first time in Branson for both of us, and we really enjoyed it! We took a dinner cruise along the river, visited a couple wineries, spent a lot of time along the shops at the Promenade (highly recommend that!), and just enjoyed each other while Steve didn’t have to think about school/work, and Liesl had some time off work.

In August, before Steve started his Junior year of school, we had the opportunity to take a camping trip in some record heat. We made some memories, that’s for sure, with a heat index of 112 most of the time. Lots of cold showers, and sweating. Still, we do love camping and it was a wonderful way to wrap up our summer. Liesl was also blessed to be able to participate in another musical, Annie Get Your Gun, at the Jewel Box Theatre in Oklahoma City during August/September. She performed with that theatre last year, and it was fun to re-connect and also make new friends!

September brought some change. After almost 2 years with the Department of Surgery at the OU Health Sciences Center, Liesl was offered a too-good-to-pass-up opportunity with Chesapeake Energy Corporation. It is a great company that values their employees and she is really enjoying it. Another huge blessing.

In October, we were blessed to spend some more time with extended family as we headed to Colorado to be a part of Steve’s cousin’s wedding, and then we celebrated our 3rd Anniversary on October 8th. In November we had the privilege of hosting Liesl’s parents and brother for Thanksgiving. We sure miss our families, so we cherish the times we get to spend with them.

December has come and gone already…it’s hard to believe another year has passed. We wish your families many blessings as we celebrate the birth of God’s Son. In a time where the world has seen a lot of change and many hardships, it is a comfort to know we serve a God who is not surprised by any of this, and—better yet—has it under his sovereign control. What a blessing that is!

Hope you and your families had a wonderful holiday season, and we wish you a happy 2009!
With love,
Steve and Liesl Irwin